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למקבל – לצאת עם כמה במקביל

הטינדר אשם

כבר כמה שנים קיימות

מספר אפליקציות למטרת הכרויות

שהמובילה ביניהן היא טינדר.

טינדר תמיד הייתה נחשבת לאפליקציה

שבה אפשר למצוא מפגש ללילה אחד

אבל משימוש עצמי שלי

נוכחתי לדעת שהרוב המכריע  של הנשים

שמשתמשות באפליקציה

באות דווקא לחפש זוגיות יציבה

וממש לא למפגש של לילה אחד.

אפשר לתאר בצורה ציורית את האפליקציות האלה

כמראה שנגלה לתייר שמגיע ממקום של חוסר,

לשוק הכרמל ורואה את הדוכנים עם שפע הירקות והפירות

כמשל לאופציות הרבות ולשפע

הנשים שניתן להכיר.

וכך…

בגלל מבנה המערכת של האפליקציה

יוצא המון פעמים שמקבלים חיבור

עם כמה נשים באותו יום.

ואז מתחילים את שלב הגישושים,

שזה אומר שבקלות אפשר למצוא את עצמך

מדבר עם 3-4 נשים במקביל בצ'אט.

 

דייטים במקביל

בגלל אופי האפליקציות השונות

השיחה לרוב לא מתנהלת בצורה שוטפת

אבל בגלל שממילא אתה מדבר עם 3-4 במקביל

אתה נשאר עסוק בצ'אט.

ובסופו של דבר גם יוצא שאתה קובע עם 3 נשים

לדייט ראשון באותו שבוע

אפילו יום אחרי יום.

אני שמעתי אפילו על מקרים של דייטים

שנערכו באותו יום בשעות שונות.

 

מוסריות?

תמיד יהיו כאלה שיצקצו בלשון

ויגידו שזה לא מוסרי

ומי שעושה את זה נחשב בעיניהם

כבר מהרגע הראשון לאדם בעל ערכים נמוכים.

אני אישית לא מסכים איתם

מהסיבה הפשוטה

שהמשאב הכי יקר שלנו

בתור בני אדם

ובמיוחד בתור גרושים

הוא הזמן.

כולנו מחפשים את הטוב ביותר לעצמנו

ואם כל פעם שנתחיל לדבר עם מישהי בצ'אט

ונשלול דיבור במקביל עם אחרות

אנחנו נבזבז זמן יקר שאין לנו.

אין שום דבר לא מוסרי בלבחון את הצד השני.

 

ומה עם פגישה?

גם פגישה ראשונה עוד לא סוגרת את האפשרויות מול נשים אחרות

כיוון שפגישה ראשונה היא שיטחית ביותר

ועדיין אין באמת מערכת יחסים.

מנסיון שלי רק אחת לשלוש או ארבע

פגישות ראשונות עוברות לפגישה שניה

ולכן הגעתי למסקנה

שכדאי למצות את כל האפשרויות

ולמקבל…

עד דייט שני…

 

יש לזה חוקים?

יש כמה כללים שאני ממליץ (דעה אישית שלי)

  1. בשלב הצ'אט אין בעיה למקבל – זה מיון ראשוני לשני הצדדים
  2. דייט ראשון אין בעיה למקבל – זה רק רושם ראשוני
  3. דייט שני – ממליץ לבחור את המתאימה ביותר ולשחרר את היתר
  4. אם יש חיבור באפליקציות , לא להגיב
  5. המלצה מ"חצי פייק" – אחרי דייט שלישי למחוק את כל האפליקציות

 

לסיכום

בואו לא נהיה תמימים וצדקנים

זמן הוא המשאב הכי חשוב שלנו

כל עוד אין חיבור משמעותי עם הצד השני

שזה בדרך כלל אחרי דייט שני או שלישי

אין כל מניעה לצאת/לדבר עם כמה במקביל

רק לשים גבולות לכל דבר, כמו כל דבר בחיים  🙂

 

DIV

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